We Judge Them

My mom gave me Dorian Gray. The book, not the Swedish pop band. And if ya don't know it, it's this freaky story about this pretty boy who's got a painting of himself in his attic. And year after year, he stays young and beautiful, but the painting itself changes to reflect the horrible person he's become on the inside. I don't know. Stay young and beautiful forever? Maybe I'd take that deal. Kidding. Anyway, it's the whole idea that art reflects the soul and somtimes it takes on a life of it's own. I think that's true. You know, I look at the work I've done. You know, the art that's up on my walls, and it means different things to me on different days. Sometimes, I recognize the person behind it. Sometimes I don't. Anyway, it's a really good book if you're into the "twilight zone suff" as my dad calls it. The good thing about my mom's old books is that they come with all the good parts underlined. In this case, she even dog-earred a page for me. This part says, "Children begin by loving their parents. As they grow older, they judge them. Sometimes they forgive them." Mom. I love her, I do, but she's not exactly subtle. You guys know the whol mom issue I've been dealing with lately. Anyway, it got me thinking about all the choices we get to make in life. You know, what we wear, what we eat, what kind of people we're going to hang out with. My point is, in life you're pretty much the captin of your own ship. You can choose anything you want. Except one of the things you can't choose is who you're parents are. Honestly, think about it, it's completely luck of the draw. When you enter the world, there is no reset button. There is no trial period. No 30 day return policy. And we can't choose alot of the baggage our parents hand down to us. Most of them want what's best for us. Even if what THEY think is best is different from what WE think is best. But they leave their leagacy of good things and bad things. Anyway, I think it's us kids who make that choice. You know, we're the ones who have to decide to ditch the bad stuff. My mom, if you guys know me or have been reading my blog, has cancer. It's funny, I just thought of something I haven't thought about in a long time. When I was little, my mom used to tuck me into bed every night and she'd always say the same thing, "If I could line up all the little girls in the world, I'd choose you." I still remember thinking it was silly at the time. Every night, "I'd choose you." I guess Oscar Wilde was right about our parents. We love them. We judge them. And, hopefully, we forgive them. I find myself doing those things. All three of them. And if I'm lucky, maybe they'll do the same for me.